


Six Degrees Of Separation

by SoxGirlSarah



Category: One Direction
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-24
Updated: 2013-09-24
Packaged: 2017-12-27 11:56:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/978566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoxGirlSarah/pseuds/SoxGirlSarah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written in a not so great time in my life...depicts of self harm, possible triggers...sad...read at your own risk. Written while listening to The Script's Six Degrees of Separation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Six Degrees Of Separation

Six Degrees of Separation  
‘First, you think the worst is a broken heart’

 

She curled up on the end of the couch, tears streaming down her face as the previous night’s played over in her mind like a movie. From the slamming doors to raised voices, their relationship hadn’t always been like that. At one point in the three years they had been together there had been happier times. She pulled the blanket into her tighter as the sobbing began all over again, her heart in pieces, and her phone blowing up as she chose to ignore it. The beeping continuing to echo off the empty walls, “empty”, that word echoed over and over again in her head. Was this really the end of them? Was this end of everything? Finally she just stopped holding back, her cries echoing through the flat, the flat that she shared with him and had shared with him for the last two years. The flat that they bought together after his band had become successful. She tried to breathe as the tears still cascaded down her face, her once brilliant blue eyes were now dull and greyer, once filled with hope for the future, now filled with sadness and despair. She jumped as she heard the familiar ringtone blaring through the quiet; shaking her head she let it go to voicemail, only to hear it going off again and again until she finally caved and shuffled to the kitchen. Pulling it off of the charger she took a breath as she answered, “What?”

“He’s a mess Kat; I’ve never seen him more a mess in the three years I’ve known him.”

She couldn’t help but smile as she heard Liam’s gentle voice through the speaker. Liam the peacekeeper, Liam the voice of reason; or as most people knew him Liam aka Daddy Direction; sighing she shuffled back to the living room, curling back up at the end of the couch, the blanket pulled up to her chin, opening her mouth her voice was taken over by a loud ‘hiccup’. Covering her mouth she heard him chuckle, “He’s the one that packed his stuff, he’s the one that left, he’s the one that decided it was over. I don’t care how much of a mess he is Li, I’m the one sitting here ALONE, and you’re all their coddling him like I’m the one that decided to end it.” Hanging up on him she tossed her phone across the room, yelling at the top of her lungs, not caring who heard her. 

 

“Well, that went well.” Liam said with a sigh as he went back into the flat, sighing as he saw Niall on the couch, his face red and splotchy from crying, “Get up.”

“Fuck you.” The Irishman said his accent thick with anger, sadness, and alcohol, “I’m not fucking moving.”

Liam just rolled his eyes and shook his head, “Don’t make me call the rest of the guys Niall, you know what will happen if I do. She already thinks they’re here and already know.

“I don’t bloody care if you call them and I don’t bloody care what she thinks.” He said as he rolled over on Liam’s couch, burying his face into the blankets he felt the tears well up behind his blue eyes again, his heart aching and dying to have her back.

“What the hell happened Ni?! Why did you leave her?”   
Niall shook his head from under the darkness of the blankets, “Not talking about it.”

“Suit yourself, but I just want you to know that she’s just as upset if not more than you are. Talk to her, she’s your everything, you’ve said that yourself. Why now, all of a sudden, without so much as a warning did you decide to end it?”

“What fucking part of I’m not talking about it did you not get?!” He closed his eyes again, as that night played back in his mind. The one time he swore to her that he wouldn’t let loose he did, and that’s when he saw the petite blonde in the corner, eye fucking him like there was no tomorrow and for whatever reason he felt as though he needed to have her. The one mistake that he could never take back; and even after he got home and ended things with Kat he couldn’t tell her why; so he told her the first thing that popped into his head, “I don’t love you anymore Kat, I haven’t for a while. I’ll be out by morning.” And he’d be damned if it didn’t feel like someone ripped his heart out of his chest as choked the words out of his mouth; and her reaction, her reaction killed him. The way she crumpled onto the floor like someone had shot a bullet through her heart. It took him every ounce of being to not comfort her, to tell her that he had lied to her - that he loved her, had always loved her, and would always love her. 

 

Kat’s not sure at what point she fell asleep, but she awoke suddenly as she heard a knock on the door. Slipping from the couch she pulled the first sweatshirt she could find over her head, instantly enveloped in his scent, her eyes filling with tears again, but instead of taking it off she left it on as a constant reminder of what was. Hearing a second, and then a third knock she made her way to the front door, pulling the hood over head to hide her crazy appearance she unlocked the door and ripped it open, surprised at who she saw on the other side of the door, “Jenna?”

“Liam called me the minute Niall showed up at his flat. I took the red eye to London and here I am to comfort my best friend.” Pushing through the doorway without being invited in she stopped as she passed Kat, dropping the handle of her luggage she pulled the woman into her arms, “I’m so sorry honey, what happened?”

Feeling her best friend’s arms around her brought back the flood of memories again; unable to stop herself she began to sob uncontrollably again, telling Jenna about everything that had happened. When she finally got to the end of the story she found herself back at the edge of the couch, curled up in Niall’s sweatshirt and the same blanket wrapped up to her chin, “And the worst part? I still love him, I still want him back. If he showed up right now and told me he wanted back in I’d let him. Jesus Jen, he ripped my heart out and stomped on it and here I am willing to take him back!”

“I don’t believe a word he said to you last night Kat. I’ve never seen two people more diabetic level in love than you and Niall. From the way you two look at each other, to your actions, to your body language. Jesus I was going to throw up the other day when we were on Skype and he walked up and wrapped his arms around you, kissing your neck.   
Something else happened.” Feeling her phone vibrate she pulled it out, “It’s Liam, hang on.” She tapped on answer, “Hey Li.”

“You’re in London I take it. How is she holding up?”

“I got a story, but I don’t know that I believe it. Anything from Ni?”

“Nope, he’s done nothing but sleep, cry, and lay here since he arrived last night. In fact, I’m getting ready to call the rest of the guys and have them help me get it out of him.”

“He told her he didn’t love her anymore.” She was met by silence, “Liam?”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“That’s what I said, something’s not right and if he doesn’t start talking he’s going to lose her.”

 

‘What’s gonna kill you is the second part’

 

“Get your arse out off the couch Kat, if you don’t I WILL call Hazza and have him PULL you off.” Jenna threatened for what seemed like the millionth time since she’d gotten the call from Liam. Sighing as Kat continued to ignore her, “You need to get off this couch and go back to work before you lose your job!”

“Can’t, still hurts too badly.” Kat replied as the sobs began again. He’d been gone for over two weeks, the longest and most horrible two weeks of her life. She still missed him, still wasn’t ready to leave the couch, still wasn’t ready to move on with her life, “I’m still grieving.”

Growling Jenna pulled her cell phone out and tapped on Harry’s number, Kat may not listen to her or Liam but she KNEW that her best friend would listen to Harry. The two had become close in the three years that she had dated Niall. He was her rock, he was her best friend, the little brother she never had. Leaving the living room she shut herself into the guest room, letting out a sigh of relief as she heard his British accent come through the phone, “Hey Haz, is Jen.”

“Hi Jenna, what’s up?”

She sighed as she fought with herself about what to do, “You haven’t heard about Kat and Ni yet have you?”

“Just what I’ve seen, Liam has pressed for answers and Ni keeps refusing to give them. He’s holed himself up at Li’s flat and pretty much refuses to leave unless he has to. He’s quiet, withdrawn, and not at all Niall.”

“Kat is the same way; she hasn’t been to work in two weeks, has been living in Niall’s sweatshirt and refuses to get up off the couch. I love her Harry but if she doesn’t shower soon I may have to call the UK version of the CDC and have her removed for contamination.”

He laughed, “That bad huh?”

“You have no idea.”

“I’ll be there in fifteen, just don’t tell her I’m coming. I don’t want her barricading her front door.”

“You know, she thinks that you all know what happened and are taking his side. She thinks that’s why none of you have been to see her.”

“Bull shit! I’ve tried texting and calling her, she refuses to pick up her damn phone.”

Jenna just sat there and sighed, “I know Hazzabear, I know. She’s just in such a bad place and I’ve run out of options. I’m scared she’s going to do something stupid.”

“Yeah, we’re all afraid for the same with Ni. I’m leaving now and will be there in twenty.”

 

Niall awoke from his sleep, drenched in sweat, the same dream plaguing him even now. Him, at the club with Josh and Joey, the drinks flowing and that blonde, the blonde that ruined everything; shaking his head, “You did it to yourself Horan, the only one you have to blame is yourself. Suck it up and take responsibility for your actions.” Cracking his eyes open they crashed into Liam’s brown ones, “Don’t Li. I’m tired of Daddy Direction, I want my friend.”

“Then tell me what the hell happened Niall! I’m tired of lecturing you, how am I supposed to help you fix this if I don’t know what happened.”

“I don’t want help, I want her to be happy, she deserves better.”

Liam just rolled his eyes and stood up, “What if her happiness is you?”

“Then she needs to choose a different happiness cuz I’m not it.” He replied as he yanked the blankets over his head again, hearing Liam’s annoyed sigh he ripped the blankets off, “I’m going out.”

Liam wasn’t sure what to do as he watched his friend push past him and head up to the shower, “Not a good idea Niall.”

“I don’t really care what you think right now dad, I’m going out. Oh, and don’t wait up, I don’t know if or when I’ll be home.” Slamming the door shut he stripped and started the shower.

 

Pulling up to the familiar gated estates, Harry pulled his Range Rover up and punched in the key code. Once the gates opened he drove in, glancing his back in his rearview mirror he watched as the swarm of paparazzi tried to follow him in, “Fucking vultures.” He spat as he pulled up and parked in the visitor lot. Sliding from the car he heard the cameras and the yell of the photographers as they tried to snap shots of him from between the holes in the iron gate. Shaking his head he flipped them off as he made his way through the front door; once inside he took the elevator up to the fourth floor, standing in front of her door he knocked lightly, hearing footsteps hurry towards the door he knew they were Jenna’s. Watching as the door swung open in front of him he stepped in, “Where is she?”

“You called Harry?! You actually called him?!” Kat yelled from the living room. Turning her head she just watched his tall lanky figure come through the doorway, “Go away.”

He shook his head and sat next to her, pulling her into his lap he held her as she began to sob, “You need to leave the flat Kat, you need to go back to work.”

“I can’t Haz, my heart hurts too much.”

“I know it does baby, I know it does.” He just sat there and held her, “He hasn’t left Liam’s flat since that night you know. The only time he does is when we make him.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” She asked as her head snapped up, “All of this was his choice Harry, I didn’t ask for any of this.” Slipping out of his lap she left the living room and went straight for the bathroom, slamming the door shut she collapsed to the floor, tears causing blurred vision as her eyes searched for something, anything to help release some of the emotional pressure she had. Finally spotting it she locked the door, grabbing the razor blade she sat against the door again and pushed her sleeve up, turning her arm she nicked it, watching the blood slip from the small wound, the ache beginning to lesson. Placing her head against the wooden door she heard the pounding from the other side, she knew they knew what she was doing and she didn’t care. She needed this, just this little bit of release.

 

‘And the third, is when your world splits down the middle’

 

Niall fought against security as he was tossed from the fourth bar in London in a matter of weeks. Struggling to stand he watched the flashing lights around him, people taking video of him as his world began to spin out of control. Always clubbing, always drinking, always trying to find someone or anyone to take the place of the hole in his heart that was Kat. Shaking his head he held out his arms as everything began to spin around him, collapsing onto the pavement he felt someone’s arms lift him, “Fuck you, I don’t need any help.”

“The hell you don’t Niall James Horan. Jesus Christ what the hell is wrong with you?!”

He gulped as he heard Louis angry tone in his ear, “Louis?”

“It’s certainly not Liam, who by the way is as sick of your shit as the rest of us are. Dammit all you’re all over the news, the papers, the internet! You need to get your act together!”

“Can’t,” He slurred, “I miss her.” 

Louis snorted as he flung Niall’s arm over his shoulder, “And yes, drinking yourself into a bloody stupor is going to solve your fucking problems. Jesus Niall, here’s something that should sober your ass up, Kat started cutting again.” He watched his mates demeanor change instantly, “I thought that might do the trick, let’s get you back to Liam’s before someone calls the cops and things get worse.”

 

“No!” Kat yelled as her eyes filled with tears, “I feel better when I do it, I won’t stop!”

Jenna growled and grabbed her best friend’s arm, “You really think this is the right way to go about things?! I’ve been here for OVER A MONTH Kat, A MONTH, cutting is NOT the way to handle this, so we’ve arranged a trip to the states. You’re coming home with me until you straighten yourself out.”

“The fucking hell I am, I’m staying here!”

Now it was Harry’s turn to growl, walking up to her he pulled her to the couch and looked into her blue eyes, “You need to do this Kat. You need to get better, do you know that every day when I come over I wonder if you’ve nicked the wrong spot, wondering if I’ll find you in a pool of your own blood dead. You NEED to get out of here and get your head on straight.”

“What if he comes back?” She asked as she curled into Harry’s lap.

Harry sighed and looked at Jenna and sighed, “It’s time to move on Kat, neither of you are in a good place. Go to LA with Jenna, get better and then come home, and when you do I’ll be waiting for you. Deal?”

She sighed and inclined her head, “Fine.”

 

‘Fourth, you’re gonna think that you fixed yourself’

 

Kat yawned and stretched out on the patio of the two bedroom apartment that she was now sharing with Jenna, and had been for the last six months. Her road to recovery had been a long one, and the scars on her arms reminded her every day of her struggle with her feelings for him, for her life, for everything. Sighing she heard her phone go off, grabbing it she smiled as she saw Harry’s name pop up on the caller ID, “Why good afternoon to my favorite Brit!”

“Someone’s in an unusually good mood today,” He chuckled as he looked around the studio, his eyes landing on Niall, “How are you?”

“Suspicious as to why you’re calling me, what’s going on Haz?”

He chuckled, “I need a reason to call my best friend?”

“I can hear your voice bouncing off the walls; you’re in the studio aren’t you?” She was met by silence. Flexing her hands she bit back the urge to find a razor, she knew that 

Harry was in the studio with Niall, her feelings flooding through her body like a waterfall, “What’s going on Haz?”

“I just wanted to call and say hi and I miss you, we all do in fact. Wondered how you were doing?”

“I’m doing okay, thinking about moving back to the states permanently, I’ve got a good job, still working through my emotional cutting but I’m in a much better place here than I would be there.”

Harry watched Niall’s face fall. He had been proud of his friend for how quickly and how hard he worked to get better himself, always with the hope that he would be able to go back to Kat. Turning to Liam he nodded and then watched as Liam walked over to comfort his friend, “You gotta do what you gotta do to be happy. Besides, I know where you are when I wanna come see you.”

“That you do Hazza, that you do.” Hearing the door open and then shut she smiled as she watched Jenna walk outside, “Alright Haz, I gotta go, I’ve got some stuff to do with Jen, I’ll text you later okay?” Hanging up the phone she took a breath and looked at her friend as she sat in the chair next to her, “You have a smile like the Cheshire cat right now Jen, what’s going on?”

 

“As long as she’s happy and she feels better that’s all that matters.” Niall said as he picked up his guitar, strumming the strings a familiar song began to echo through the studio, his voice following behind it;

“But what can I say about something that blows me away without it soundin’ like another cliché?”

“From what I’ve seen and I’ve heard, when it comes to you, baby no, there are no, there are no words.”

“There are no words.”

“Yeah I swear this much is true, there ain’t no word in this world that describes you.”

Harry sat on the other side of Niall, “You need to talk to her, you need to tell her what happened.”

“She doesn’t need that right now. Not when she’s finally getting better.”

“There will never be a moment that’s right for you to tell her Ni and before you know it you’ll see her online hand in hand with someone else and you’ll wish you’d told her.”

 

‘Fifth, you see them out with someone else’

 

“Thanks for everything Adam,” Kat said as she stood in front of the doorway, “I had a really great time, as usual.”

He just smiled at her, dipping his head he kissed her gently, smiling as she kissed him back. They stood there for what seemed like ages, his lips kidnapping hers in the most gentle of kisses. His tongue snaking out and gliding along her lower lip, only to feel her back away from him, “You okay Kat?”

“Yeah I just, can we not do that out here with all of the vultures lurking?” Unlocking the door she walked in, moving to the side she allowed for him to walk in behind her, shutting the door she locked it and wrapped her arms around him, “Now, where were we?”

 

“Niall, don’t you leave this flat, I swear if you do it will be the last time you’re allowed to step foot through that door. You had your chance to talk to her about what happened, but you chose not to do it. Don’t punish her for your actions. You know damn well that the media is waiting for you to slip up again, don’t give them that opportunity.”

Niall growled and slammed the door shut, “How am I supposed to be okay with this?!”

“What happened to, as long as she’s happy I’m happy?”

“That was a crock of shit is what it was.” He growled and collapsed back on the couch, “How long have you known about them?”

“Since they started dating, which was about six months or so ago; she’s in a good place Ni, she’s happy, and she’s feeling better. You going out, getting drunk, and acting like   
a complete arse is only going to make both of you backslide.”

“I’m not okay with this.”

“You don’t have to be.” Liam said with a sigh, “However, when you’re ready to tell her what happened I’m sure she’d more than happy to listen.”

 

‘And the sixth, is when you admit that you may have fucked up a little’

 

“It’s you, it’s me, and it’s The Script! Please tell me how this night could even POSSIBLY get any better right now?!”

“Um, maybe if I were here?” Harry said with a chuckle as he walked through the door, laughing as he saw the look on Kat’s face, “SURPRISE!”

“HAZZA!” She screamed as she ran and jumped into his waiting arms, “I can’t believe you two managed to pull this off without me knowing!”

“It sure as hell wasn’t easy,” Jenna said with a snort, “It took an act of God, Congress, and the President to keep Hazzabear from spilling the beans. You ready to go?!”

“HELL YES!” Kat replied with a giggle, “Leeeeeeeeeeesgooooooooooo!”

 

Niall waited nervously backstage at the venue, his palms sweaty as he reminded himself over and over again why he was doing this. It was time for her to know the truth, and he only prayed that she would be able to forgive him, “Get it together Horan.” He said to himself as he stood there, waiting impatiently for the right time to strike.

 

Having made it to the venue in record time, they slipped in and took their spots, Kat’s excitement grew as she just stared at the stage and then at her two best friends. The only thing missing from tonight’s festivities was the Irishman that still had her heart. Once the show started she pushed Niall to the back of her mind, singing at the top of her lungs to her favorite songs she was surprised when she heard a song that wasn’t their new single being played, “Six Degrees of Separation? Weird.” She said as she shrugged it off, closing her eyes she just listened to the lyrics of the song, singing along as they went, getting to the chorus she stopped as she heard the familiar voice singing, opening her eyes she saw him there, his guitar slung over his shoulder, his blue eyes burning into hers.

“First, you think the worst is a broken heart”

“What’s gonna kill you is the second part”

“And the third, is when your world splits down the middle”

“Fourth, you’re gonna think that you fixed yourself”

“Fifth, you see them out with someone else”

Walking off the stage he stood in front of her, releasing the guitar he took her hands into his, looking into her eyes he sang the last line of the chorus,  
“And the sixth, is when you admit that you may have fucked up a little”

Kat gulped as she felt the tears well up behind her eyes, biting her lip she did the only thing she knew, wrapping her arms around his neck she hugged him, whispering into his ear, “I don’t care what happened, I miss you and I love you.” After the show she, Jenna, and Harry were ushered into the back, seeing Niall standing against the wall on his phone she took the opportunity to sneak up on him, yanking it away from him she giggled, “So, we need to talk.”

“I suppose we do.” He replied, taking his phone back he slipped his fingers between hers, “I’m sorry Kat, and I know that I’m sorry doesn’t cut it but it’s all I can say.” Stopping he lifted her arm, pushing up the sleeve he dipped his head and kissed every scar he could find, “I’m sorry that I made you feel like you had to start doing this again, I’m sorry that I hurt you so badly, I just didn’t know what to do.”

Pulling her arm out of his grasp she placed it against his cheek, “You can start by telling me what happened Niall, that’s all you would have had to do that night to avoid this whole thing.” 

Removing her hand they walked to the car, a calm silence spreading between them. Once he helped her in and he slipped into the driver’s side he sighed, “Do you remember how I went out with some of the lads that night just to unwind from all the studio time that I’d been putting in?”

“Yeah, how could I forget it?”

“Right, well,” He sighed, “You’d think now over a year later this wouldn’t be so hard but it is.” Looking at her he took her face in his hands, “Kat, I did something that I wish I could take back, I wish I could’ve made it so it never happened. There was a girl there, and, Christ there’s no good way to say this to you, I cheated on you.”

Kat just kinda looked at him for a minute, letting the information sink in she just gave him a small smile, “Thank you for telling me Ni, but I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me then. We could have worked through it, TOGETHER instead of this.” Placing her hands back on his face she leaned in and gently kissed him, “Take me home Ni.”

“Home as in back to England with me? Or home as in back to Jenna’s? What about Adam?”

She just giggled, “Adam and I haven’t been together for the last month, where have you been? As for home, I mean England. It’s the only place I’ve ever truly called home, and that’s because I’m there with you.”


End file.
